Domestic Travel: Disgusted by McMuffins and Dreaming of Ziplocs

Some notes from our recent trip from Boston to Kansas City – my first time flying domestically in several years.

The Night Before

6:00 pm – Duarte still has not started packing. I tell him again that I want to be done packing and asleep at 10:00pm.

11:00 pm – He is almost finished packing after moving the stuff back and forth between two different bags more than once.

12:00 pm – I finally go to sleep. I dream of packing one-quart ziplock bags with 100ml containers. I wake up twice thinking about it.

The Day of Travel

6:45 am – The alarm goes off.

6:56 am – Attempt to wake Duarte #1 – completely unsuccessful.

7:00 am – Attempt to wake Duarte #2 – he stirs and looks semi-conscious.

7:15 am – Attempt to wake Duarte #3 – he promises to get up.

7:20 am – I hear him getting out of bed. Not bad compared to the usual!

8:15 am – The cab arrives. It is not what I expected.

A large man who could serve as a bouncer offers a faint smile under his handlebar mustache. His loose tank top shows off meaty, tan arms as he gruffly puts the luggage in the trunk. There is no AC. There are ashes all over the taxi floor.

He’s blaring morning talk radio where some woman is saying that females spend $24,000 on shoes during their lifetimes. $24,000 on shoes? She doesn’t specify which country this shoe-buying study was done in. The driver doesn’t offer to turn the radio down.

Shouting About Food Stamps

8:30 am – At the bus station. Two old men are shouting at each other while having a friendly conversation about food stamps and disability benefits.

“I don’t have to pay for food. I get it free with the food stamps.”

“I wish I didn’t have to worry about that. I worked my whole life and I don’t get any free food. I don’t even have a TV in my house.”

“I worked too, until I hurt my back.”

“Hurt your back, sure, right. And now you get all sorts of free things. It’s not fair! I worked my whole life.”

The Egg McMuffin

10:00 am – Arrive in Boston, get disoriented in bus station and make poor decision to eat an Egg McMuffin.

The egg is full of shells. I think, “at least it’s real eggs then” as I spit half of it out. Duarte makes several comments about how disgusting it is that I’m eating the McMuffin. I feel like puking, blame him and then start crying. I feel totally out of it. Must be the hormones.

10:30 am – Walk to train station and realize there are dozens of other restaurants where I could have eaten something much nicer (and healthier) than the McMuffin. I still feel sick from eating and can’t stop thinking about the feeling of eggshells crunching against my teeth.

10:35 am – A nice and slightly odd gentlemen guides us through the process of saving 60 cents on our tickets to the airport by buying a reduced fare card.

Self Check-In, Security and Loud Spanish

11:00 am – Arrive at terminal C to find two airline employees manning 20 self check-in stations.

We’ve never done self check-in; we’re confused. The self check-in machine tries to sell us numerous upgrades throughout the check-in process. We decline. Our seats have been changed so we’re not sitting together anymore. It will cost money to change them back; we decline. We pay the $25 fee for one checked bag and wait for one of the two attendants. Our one bag weighs in at 49 lbs, just under the 50 lb limit. Relief.

11:15 am – Security moves quickly. We find out gate and sit down. Duarte buys a grilled chicken quesedilla, forgives me for eating the McMuffin, and offers me a piece. He then buys a $4 tiny plastic cup of pineapple at Au Bon Pain.

12:00 pm – Enjoying free WiFi when a loud Spanish-speaking family sits right behind us. There are at least six of them. Maybe more. Previously a soft-spoken Spanish-speaking woman and her children had been sitting there. I had been admiring the language. Now it seems jarring and obnoxious. I think about finding another seat, but there aren’t any near our gate.

12:30 pm – Mercifully that loud family isn’t on our flight. I start wondering if people are going to feel this way about me next summer when I’m traveling with an infant.

1:45 pm – Finally boarding. Feeling disturbed after hearing more than two dozen intercom messages reminding me to “be aware”, “report suspicious behavior,” “keep track of my luggage,” and “wash hands frequently.” I still can’t shake the memory of egg shells crunching between my teeth.

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Feature photo by size8jeans.