Tips for Flying with a Toddler

We found flying with our son to be most difficult from 12 to 24 months. During that age, Gabriel really wanted to get up and walk around a lot, and until 20 months he still wanted to breastfeed to fall asleep. Considering the frequent wakings due to noise or turbulence on the airplane, this led to a lot of crying, arguments between my husband and I, and both of us parents feeling uncomfortable.

In retrospect, it was not wise to use our airline miles for free flights from Boston to Honolulu when we had a 15-month old active toddler, but since then we’ve learned a lot about how to make those long flights more pleasant for us, our son, and the other passengers!

Here are some tips for making long-haul travel or shorter trips more enjoyable with a toddler.

1. Get Your Child a Seat

Purchase a dedicated seat for the child if the flight is a long one. Kids can usually fly free until age 2, but unless your child is happy to sit on your lap, sleep and just snuggle quietly for the majority of the trip, an extra seat will help immensely. A car seat is great for keeping the child in the seat, for increased safety and for giving you your own space while your child is happy or sleeping in the seat. It also allows him to sit up higher so he can look out the window and see what’s going on.

2. Choose a Kid-Friendly Airline

Fly on an airline that’s more family friendly. Most Asian airlines still offer pre-boarding for families with young children and other perks like baby meals, diapers, and car seat rental. You will feel a lot more comfortable during the flight if you don’t get the impression that having a child traveling with you is a burden to the staff.

We flew Japan Airlines (JAL) from Boston to Ho Chi Minh City when our son was 18 months old. Our son had a meltdown going through security, because it was nap time, and we ended up stopping just outside the security gate to let him breastfeed and fall asleep. About half an hour before the regular boarding, the JAL staff came looking for us so that we could board early.

They brought us to the gate ahead of time, along with one other family, and let us board first. They helped with the stroller and our carry on bags. The carseat we’d asked for (and which was available for free) was already installed. We were able to put our sleeping son into the carseat, and he stayed sleeping all the way through takeoff and an hour into the flight. Through JAL, I was also able to order a toddler meal, a diaper pack and an age-appropriate toy – all for no extra charge.

You can read my full review here: Traveling with a Toddler on Japan Airlines.

3. Have Special Airplane Toys

Pack a special bag of travel toys and books that only come out when you’re flying. In ours we keep lots of stickers, coloring books and crayons, non-mess coloring kits (Melissa and Doug has nice ones), some special cars and small animal toys, and books about airplanes. We’ve also brought along flash cards with animals and numbers, a magnetic drawing board and a large reusable sticker pad.

Now that Gabriel is almost 3, I’ve decided to update the contents of the bag. Each time we take a long trip, he gets at least one new book or toy once we’re seated on the plane.

4. Bring Child-Sized Headphones

Help your child understand the ‘magic’ of headphones. Once our son turned two and understood how to use headphones, traveling became a whole lot easier! Since age 2, I’d say he’s been the best traveler in the family. Of course we don’t usually allow him unlimited juice, snacks and movies, so he feels like flying is a special treat.

One problem we’ve had though is that the airline headphones are too big for him. We’ve fixed this by rolling up a baby blanket and placing that on his head to keep the headphones in place, but having a set of child-sized headphones would definitely make it easier.

5. Pack Lots of Snacks

Eating can keep a toddler busy. I like to bring no-spill bowls to prevent him from dropping his snacks all over the floor. Small finger foods are best. Call ahead and ask the airline exactly what kind of snacks they offer, as you don’t want to rely on the airline-provided snacks if your child won’t be able to eat them.

Once our son turned two, he could eat pretty much anything, so now we just bring a sippy cup, some cereal or crackers to munch on, a toddler-sized set of silverware, and a no-spill bowl.

6. Bring Extra Clothes, Wipes, and Towels

We have had two incidents where our son has puked either directly before or directly after getting on a plane. It was essential to have extra clothes (2 sets), wipes, small towels, and a plastic bag easily accessible to take care of the mess. You can also pack a small toothbrush to help your child wash his mouth out after an incident.

You can never be sure what the temperature will be in the airline, so bring a blanket, sweater and socks for your child in case it gets cold. Reusable wet bags (pictured below) are useful for storing soiled clothes.

7. Double Check Your Seats are Booked Together

Last summer when we flew United from Ho Chi Minh City to Boston, our flights were changed and our seats were reassigned from what we’d originally chosen. When I rechecked our reservation, United had all three of us sitting separately in different parts of the plane. I had to spend about 30 minutes on the phone to get our seats reassigned, but it was much less stressful to arrive at the airplane gate knowing that we already had seats together. This mix-up often happens to families, and then stewards have to ask other passengers to move after they’ve already settled in their seats.

Those of us who fly with little ones know that we are not the most welcome passengers on the plane due to children’s reputations for screaming, making a mess and kicking the seats in the front of them. It’s best to avoid starting the journey on the wrong foot by having to ask other passengers to move from the seats they’ve chosen.

8. Choose Your Seats Wisely

We like to sit toward the back of the plane near the bathroom. This allows us to get up quickly when there’s no line in order to facilitate a quick diaper change or clean up. Don’t choose the very back seats, as those usually don’t recline, but 4 or 5 rows up from the bathroom can be convenient without being too close to the action when you want to sleep.

Always check the configuration of the airplanes and choose seats that will work best for you. For shorter flights, we like to take three seats that include a window and aisle seat. For longer flights, we found it’s actually nice to have three seats in the middle of the plane so that our son can sit in the middle and my husband and I can both have easy aisle access. I never liked these seats before, but having a toddler sleeping laid across you for hours makes you more cramped up than if you were flying alone and able to move whenever you want. If there are four seats in the middle aisle, and you are only three people, don’t choose these seats because then you won’t have the double aisle access anyway.

Window seats offer more privacy if you’re breastfeeding, and you may want to bring a small blanket or nursing cover. If you expect to nurse a lot, it could be worth bringing a nursing pillow, as the seats are not very comfortable for long breastfeeding sessions.

9. Let Your Child Exercise

If you’re on a very long flight, you will probably want to allow your child to get up and walk around the plane. The 14-hour flight from Boston to Tokyo is when we’ve most used this tactic. We’ll let our son get up and walk up and down the aisles when it seems most appropriate to do so, such as right after a meal when most other passengers are still awake. He loves this opportunity to smile at the other passengers and have a little social time.

I like to book flights with layovers of 2-3 hours so we have time to let Gabriel run around in the airport. He LOVES to go on the moving walkways and run in between gates. If he’s sleeping, we always wake him up during the layovers so he can move around and expel some energy. Layovers are also a good time to eat something, change diapers, and change clothes. We try to give Gabriel a sense of night and day by giving him pajamas or daytime clothes at different points during the travel.

If your kiddo is going through the “I don’t want to hold anyone’s hand phase,” you can try a backpack with harness. Be sure to test it out though for a few weeks before the big trip. We got one for Gabriel just before our move to Vietnam, and he wans’t keen on wearing it. He just kept going in circles trying to get rid of the leash!

10. Bring a Lightweight Travel Stroller

Large strollers with extra storage are wonderful for the park or the mall, but they aren’t so great for airports. You’ll want something lightweight that you can pick up and carry if you need to. Generally, you will be required to take your child out of the stroller and put the stroller through the security scanner.

Choose a stroller that has a travel carry strap, folds up easily with one hand, reclines for sleeping, and has at least some storage space. We also like to have a food/drink tray in front to keep Gabriel busy with snacks.

We’ve used the Combi Cosmo stroller for two years now and have found it a good, less expensive option for our all-around stroller. We also have the rain cover, a mosquito net, and a gate check bag. The rain cover and net are for our regular use, but we’ve gotten good use out of the gate check bag during travel. We’ve used it so much that it’s started to fall apart and I’ve just ordered a new one to replace it. If you want to buy the Cosmo, check the prices of different colors, as there can be a difference of $50 depending what color you get. At the time of writing, the cheapest option was the Royal Blue at less than $90.

Some parents prefer to use a baby backpack or sling instead of a stroller, but we found that we preferred the stroller because he was already quite heavy at one-year old, and after he’s been sitting on us or sprawled out across three seats sleeping for hours, we liked to be able to put him down and let everyone have their personal space! The downside of using a stroller is that it takes two hands to steer it, so at least one parent can’t bring rolling luggage. We solve this problem by using a backpack (for Papa), a rolling carry on (for Mama but carried by Papa), and a stroller with a large handbag draped over the handle.

I won’t say that following all these tips will make long-haul flying with a toddler into a dream, but I will say that the more you do it, the more you learn. And the more your kids do it, the more they will be comfortable with traveling and look forward to it. Now, whenever we tell our son about someone else going in an airplane, he gets jealous and says, “No Gabriel go airplane!” I think he’s the most relaxed and flexible traveler in the family at this point!

This article started as the answer to a question from a reader. Feel free to send me your questions about travel and expat life with kiddos to heathercarreiro@gmail.com. Many of the articles on this site have been inspired by readers.

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